Get Gumbed

for decades, we have heard the same song from the news media. "great guy that gumby." "a real standup pal." "Gumby's the kinda guy that you can share a beer with." but we all know you can't judge a book by its cover. if you want to know the truth, you've got to flip through the pages.

Who is Gumby?

to put it simply, Gumby is a 71 year old magical, looming, large, slab of clay. spawned in 1955, he has lived on ever since. On his website, his PR team describes him as "an everyman who always leaves a place better than how he found it" (gumbyworld.com) They also say us that he moves through "any portal of the imagination" but fail to specify what these portals are, and also how and when he is traveling through them. If anyone has any information about this please email me, namely how do i identify these portals, and what i need to do to close them and maybe lock them really tight.

Gumby's known associates

Garrison "Pokey" Johnson

Pokey is the foil to Gumby and his flights of fancy. A practical and reliable horse, Pokey is a reluctant friend and travel mate of Gumbys. His real name is "Garrison" but on screen Gumby calls him "Pokey" as a dig. pokey of course is slang for prison, and the nickname indicates to the audience that Gumby views this wonderful innocent horse as his own personal prison. When asked to elaborate he cowardly declined with the statement "i am currently out of the office." You may ask why they remain partners through all the shows and movies. for years there have been whispers in the industry that pokey just uses Gumby to be close to the fame and the money.

Above is a photo from the 80s, you can see Gumby hoarding a bowl of popcorn all to himself. Pokey is seen putting on a brave face.

Moody Rudy

in 1977 Gumby met "Moody Rudy" a mustachioed menace of many faces. without knowing the past of this bipedal face and skull, Gumby nonetheless gave him a ringing endorsement. Gumby can be seen dancing with Rudy and then standing to observe as he writhes and contorts in this chilling found footage. i have included it here for your convenience.